Jessica's Journal

What a sad and dreary day Kaitlynn.  It was so pretty yesterday (and warm) but now a cold front has moved through and we may even have snow on Monday.  I wish yesterday  had been your birthday.  At least the sun was shining and I was able to enjoy working in my garden.  

In August of this year, it will be five years since you've been gone.  It's hard to believe.   I sat one day and tried to think if there was  one single day when you did not cross my mind.  Try as I might, I could not think of one.  Every single day I think of you...mostly just brief moments of happier times, but daily thoughts of you nonetheless. 

Like today, if you were still with us you would be celebrating your 18th birthday.  Are there "birthdays" in heaven?  My guess would probably be not.  Perhaps a celebration of sorts?  I don't know... I suppose one day I'll get all my answers.

 I remember well the day you were born.  My labor went quickly.  In the back of my mind I thought I would have several hours to prepare, like I did with your big brother!  But no, you were coming into the world as quickly as you left it.  Did you know that your Dad had to speed through town and even ran a stop light or two?  

I miss you sweet girl.  I know your day is special... whatever it is you are doing.  I also know that pain only comes to those left behind.  One day we will be able to share your jubilation because we know, you're only a heartbeat away.

I love you, Mommy